Looking past the Feo to see the Bonito

A few mornings ago, our family was up on the roof of our house, admiring the way the sunlight glowed on the mountainsides that surround this city. It’s a strange experience to be on our roof because though there are gorgeous views all around us, there is also ugliness. Like, powerlines, haphazardly draped across buildings and streets, piles of dirty (and probably rotting) laundry dumped in the corner of our neighbor’s wash area, large black water tanks, rusted gas canisters, trash, roofs that are falling apart…you get the picture. So while looking at the view, Jason encouraged Abby to look past the “feo” or ugly, to see the “bonito” or beautiful.

I’m guessing that most developing world cities (and I’m not even sure if Mexico fits precisely into developing world…but for lack of a better term, I’ll use it) and towns have these views from high places.

In contrast, I think of all the times I’ve been in Sweden and how picture perfect the Scandinavian landscape and cityscape appear at first glance. Some of our cities are like this as well. When I tell Oaxacans that we are from San Francisco, California, they all exclaim in one way or another, “San Francisco, what a beautiful city!” But when one looks past the Bonito in a city like San Francisco or Stockholm, there is feo beneath the surface.

I don’t want to knock my Swedish family and friends, but I guess I will a little bit. In the land of my ancestors, there is the appearance of clean, pristine and put together. Yet, beneath that surface are many problems, much ugliness, like very high suicide and divorce rates (divorce rates are confusing in Sweden because often couples never tie the knot officially. The statistics for “serious relationships dissolving”, even ones where children have resulted, are among the highest in the world). Here in Mexico, divorce rates are among the lowest.

What does that say about appearances of beauty and true beauty? I’m not totally sure. Maybe nothing, but at times, we’re struggling to see past the “feo”. It can be tempting to see only “feo”, like the bus driver who threw his lunch bag out the window and onto the street without reservation (I witnessed that yesterday). I walk these streets every day and there is so much trash everywhere, it can be depressing.

In a bad moment, I slip into judgment mode and feel superior to “these people”. Then, I remember to look past the feo.

A baby girl, Fernanda Abigail (pictured above), just born to our friends Marisol and Daniel, reflects the true beauty of Oaxaca. Oaxacans love family and children and though there are plenty of problems in marriages in Mexico, they really do stay together more than we in the wealthy west.

Moreover, not everyone throws their trash on the streets. Too many do so, but there are plenty of Oaxacans who want their city to reflect its inner beauty in the outer trappings. Those neighborhoods and those places exist as well. I’m not sure what to surmise. I have more thoughts that I will post tomorrow or the next day, but I’d love to hear yours as well.