Roof dogs

Speaking of "Roof." Did you hear the joke about the guy with the talking dog?

He walks into a bar, pulls up a stool and buys a drink. He begins a conversation with the bartender that leads to them talking about their pets. Eventually, the man gets around to confiding in the bartender, "My pet dog is unlike any other. He can talk," he says.

"Yeah right," says the bartender.

"It's true," says the man. "I'll bet you a pitcher of beer my dog can talk, plain English."

"How you going to prove it?" says the bartender.

"My dog is right outside, tied up to that elm near the curb."

"All right," says the bartender. "Bring him in."

Man goes out and brings his dog into the bar. By this time, folks are taking notice and gather around. Man calls his dog to attention. "Fido," he says, "What is the substance that covers a tree trunk?"

The dog says, "Bark."

"Very good," says the owner, as the audience begins to grumble. "Now," he says, "how does my face feel when I haven't shaved for a couple of days?"

"Ruff," says the dog.

The bartender is shaking his head. "Get that dog outta here," he says.

"But wait," says the man. "There's one more question." He zeroes in on his canine with a serious look on his face. "Who is the best homerun hitter of all time?"

"Ruth," says the dog.

The audience boos and the man is forced to pay for an extra pitcher of beer, then thrown out of the bar with his dog. As he gathers up the leash and gets ready to walk down the sidewalk, the dog looks up and says, "You think I made a mistake in not saying Bonds?"